WARNING LABEL:there is good bad and ugly contained herein and forthwith

So much to say and so little space to say it in....that is why, dear children, there are boxes of journals for your reading pleasure when I am gone....much to your dismay...or perhaps you could just burn them, because it won't really matter then...I'll be gone and you won't have time or energy or desire to spill over my lurid past life...."the sky is falling, the sky is falling"....been doing artwork for a hospice here in t-town....guess it kinda gets me to thinking about life (as if I already didn't!) and death (ditto!) and how little we know eachother really....so far I have drawn portraits of 2 women, one in her 80's another 97...and been thinkin about what lives they have led and how no one really cares about them as they lay there in their nursing home room....how no one will ever have really known them because it wasn't important or they were too busy till it was too late, or they just didn't give a shit....either way, the point is to KNOW people! Dear God in heaven!!! Why are we here if not to care?!!! What is the point!!??? Will someone please tell me so I can STOP caring so much?!! I got a call this week from a friend of a friend of my moms asking me to come and visit with my old pastor who has been diagnosed with liver cancer and has alzhiemers on top of it...this is a man who was a large part of my teen years...my best friends father, my pastor, a friend, the only form of counseling I ever had....anyway, he told his wife that he saw me there in his room and wanted to talk to me, how much he had always liked having me around...I haven't seen him in decades....but he was asking to see me...so I go...with the hope that I can bring just a little joy to this one who touched my life long ago...to perhaps do his portrait, although they know nothing about what work I have been doing for hospice and art....a small window of opportunity to make someone happy....to make myself happy....but untill we pay attention to our lives, and live in the here and now, these opportunities will pass us right by without us even knowing they existed....as I have done for most of my life....you want to know how it feels to get old, to have wisdom, to gain some understanding about life after having lived it for more than a half century??? Well, it is the old ying yang ....good/bad, I feel GREAT that at least right now, I think I am getting it, but bad that it has taken so long and come at the END of my life rather than the begining....so go, children, into this stinking world and do what you can to CARE, about yourself, your family, and others.....politcs? yeah, whatever, I know we need to know, but prioritize your life...get off the mindless media morph and into L-I-F-E! yeah, i know it matters, but so many other things do as well and i don't see people getting riled up about those things!! To each his own...."carpe deim!!"
Carpe diem is a phrase from a Latin poem by Horace. It is popularly translated as "seize the day", although a more literal translation of carpe would be "harvest" ("harvest the day"), as in the harvesting of fruit.