GOOD?

I never understood what was so "good" about this Friday?!! The Friday that they killed my Jesus!! It has only been in the last 10 years that I have even begun to start to grasp the "goodness" of this day. That is the day, after all, that God allowed His own son to die! Try to get your mind around THAT concept! Allowing the child that is part of you, that you love beyond words, die. Not only having to watch someone hurt your child, but actually WATCH them being killed. Well, even HE couldn't watch it. If you believe the bible, and I do, then you see that even God could not watch at the last. It turned dark. He had to look away. Yes, He "knew" His son would be with Him in heaven soon, but it NEVER takes away the moment of pain to know the brightness of the future. God hurt and turned. Jesus cried and felt abandoned by His own father. Just give it one moments thought. When my God allows pain in my life and I have doubts that He even relates to me in this regard, I only have to see that I have NEVER had to sacrifice my sons, or those I love. I realize He suffered, so why should I or the world be spared this painful part of life. So, why is it so "good"? Because the "why" is so good! For me. For the world. For us, He allowed His son to die. He allowed Himself, and His son, and those who loved His son, to suffer the pain of losing someone in death. To feel the deepest pain known to man, He allowed Himself to feel this kind of pain,  for us. So that not only would His son come back to live with Him again, but all His sons friends would be able to come to. And not just for a sleep over, but for an eternity. And not just for a "pie-in-the-sky" eternity we can't see and don't even comprehend, but for God to allow my Jesus to be with me today, in the present. In my pain. In my sorrow. So that I can have Him with me. To love me when I don't feel loved, to comfort me when I am in pain, to be my closest friend when all mine are too busy. To help me every day with the smallest and largest issues in my life. To be my breath TODAY, not just in the future. And THAT, my dear blogging world IS GOOD!!!!

Changes - Presidential Candidates feat. Bowie

Flu season....

I have been privey to the famous flu bug this past week...2 days and 3 nights in the bed writhing in pain felt to the bottom of your bones....have eaten 1/2 sleeve of crackers and 1/2 bottle of grape juice in the past 50 plus hours...felt like someone named Goliath standing on my stomach...vile things better left unmentioned spuing from either end uncontrolably....and now Ricky has started his round this morning...as in any great marriage, we share everything...except now I have decided to NOT share his bedroom....me and the dogs are in the back room hunkered down waiting for the first fatal part to blow over....or out I should say.....All this just as I blasted the flu shot on Todd's blog....What a great way to spend a weekend!!!

"In times of sickness the soul collects itself anew.""

Great music, Great acting, Great film....

This is a really great movie! The music is good, the acting was great, the story was gripping! Dad and I are a little, or perhaps VERY, behind on our movie watching, but we recommend this one for sure. See it. Feel it.

WARNING LABEL:there is good bad and ugly contained herein and forthwith

So much to say and so little space to say it in....that is why, dear children, there are boxes of journals for your reading pleasure when I am gone....much to your dismay...or perhaps you could just burn them, because it won't really matter then...I'll be gone and you won't have time or energy or desire to spill over my lurid past life...."the sky is falling, the sky is falling"....been doing artwork for a hospice here in t-town....guess it kinda gets me to thinking about life (as if I already didn't!) and death (ditto!) and how little we know eachother really....so far I have drawn portraits of 2 women, one in her 80's another 97...and been thinkin about what lives they have led and how no one really cares about them as they lay there in their nursing home room....how no one will ever have really known them because it wasn't important or they were too busy till it was too late, or they just didn't give a shit....either way, the point is to KNOW people! Dear God in heaven!!! Why are we here if not to care?!!! What is the point!!??? Will someone please tell me so I can STOP caring so much?!! I got a call this week from a friend of a friend of my moms asking me to come and visit with my old pastor who has been diagnosed with liver cancer and has alzhiemers on top of it...this is a man who was a large part of my teen years...my best friends father, my pastor, a friend, the only form of counseling I ever had....anyway, he told his wife that he saw me there in his room and wanted to talk to me, how much he had always liked having me around...I haven't seen him in decades....but he was asking to see me...so I go...with the hope that I can bring just a little joy to this one who touched my life long ago...to perhaps do his portrait, although they know nothing about what work I have been doing for hospice and art....a small window of opportunity to make someone happy....to make myself happy....but untill we pay attention to our lives, and live in the here and now, these opportunities will pass us right by without us even knowing they existed....as I have done for most of my life....you want to know how it feels to get old, to have wisdom, to gain some understanding about life after having lived it for more than a half century??? Well, it is the old ying yang ....good/bad, I feel GREAT that at least right now, I think I am getting it, but bad that it has taken so long and come at the END of my life rather than the begining....so go, children, into this stinking world and do what you can to CARE, about yourself, your family, and others.....politcs? yeah, whatever, I know we need to know, but prioritize your life...get off the mindless media morph and into L-I-F-E! yeah, i know it matters, but so many other things do as well and i don't see people getting riled up about those things!! To each his own...."carpe deim!!"
Carpe diem is a phrase from a Latin poem by Horace. It is popularly translated as "seize the day", although a more literal translation of carpe would be "harvest" ("harvest the day"), as in the harvesting of fruit.