Monday, December 17, 2012

Mental health Legislated?! BA! HUMBUG!!

Seriously?!!! Now we are going to legislate who is a mental health threat?! Unbelievable! And just HOW will you do that!??? Lets see....those who take prescription drugs for mental health will no longer be able to purchase a gun....or perhaps those who go to therapy or counseling will no longer be able to purchase a gun....Hmmmmmm.....where will it begin and where will it end.....and who will be the ones who get to play god and decide.... I have had "mental illness" as far back as I can remember. I have been "diagnosed" now for many decades....I ....Own....Guns.....I have never once thought about shooting a class full of students, or postal workers, or my parents, or my spouse, nor have I ever considered blowing up a building like Timothy McVay!! But now we as a people or government or nation are going to start profiling and judging the mentally ill? When will we all recognize that EACH of us is part of the problem? We all meet or know people each and every day. None of us knows which of these people have the potential for mass murder, or single murder for that matter. Yet each of us, every day, are too busy or blinded to perhaps go out of our way to speak kindly to each other or simply stop and talk to someone about something other than the outward busy ness we share. How many of us choose to go deeper than the hurried surface of our lives with each other? How many of us are kind to those whose lives touch ours daily? Who of us takes time to care beyond our convienice? And yet we are quick to point fingers at those tortured souls who are lead to violence! WE ARE THE ENEMY! We as humanity have become to busy to care, to hurried to listen, to self absorbed to stop and look into the eyes of those we meet each day and be kind and compassionate. So why don't you legistlate THAT!! The problem is not keeping guns out of the hands of those with mental issues. It is the fact that people don't care about people. That we don't love our neighbors as ourselves. That we are not good samaritans with the guy packing your groceries, Or the family member we hold a grudge against. It is US who walk quickly past hurting people everyday of our lives. It is us who sit and talk with each other but who don't know each other. It is our lack of care, compassion, kindness, and love that spits out these mutants of society! Mutants because someone somewhere didn't care...didn't my friend says " when you point your finger at someone else, there are always 3 pointing back at you.....

Thursday, May 19, 2011


Really?!! It has been 5 months since I blogged anything?!! I confess....I didn't even finish the questions I intended to answer....I failed....but He is unfailing.....I give up....He does not....I am guilty....He took it from me.....I am my Beloveds and He is mine....I continually am overwhelmed by my life, both the good and the bad.....anyone else ever feel like that?! OH! That's right!!! Nobody is really "out there"!!! BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAA! So.....I journal almost everyday and sometimes I wish to journal here....just to get it off me chest I is my "chest", my "heart" my "soul", and my "mind"(or what is left of it!) born to you all! All you Internet-socially active (not) peeps out there, who like me, on occasion read or actually write, in a blog.....welcome.
Sooooo....lots of life changes in the past 5 months...but then, hopefully life IS full of changes, much better than being stagnant I suppose. Rick quit his job of almost 30 years. And with no fanfare, with only a month of non-employment, now has the privilege of another job in the moving business yet without all the intensity and expectations of the former life he led....he is finding himself again after almost 40 years of being lost to himself, to me and to God....I have never been prouder of him....he IS indeed a new creature and amazes me with his ever changing life. We put our house up for sale, but have absolutely NO IDEA where our God will send us.....tired of trying to figure it out, we are doing what should have been done all along, which is to seize this, the only day I have, and live it to its day at a time. To trust, have faith, believe...all the "sayings" we have heard all of our lives, now being practiced in its fullest form....carpe diem.....finally...a chance to practice yet again, all I have come to believe in. At this point in my life, I have not one thing to loose and all that is important to real life to gain.





So much that is vastly overlooked by the ever busy crowds that surround me....I long for the days of front porch friends....Of family diners.....of playing with a cigar box and dirt.....yes, I know.....a Norman Rockwell picture I am sure, but it takes me to a much simpler time in my life.......but that simplicity is mine to have even now if I but reach for it.....and I have. To maintain that stillness in the midst of these times is indeed a challenge, but well worth the effort it often do we participate in these things in our own busy lives? Well....lets roll....

Saturday, January 01, 2011


who has made your life worth living for...#7. In the beginning it was my boys. My boys turned into my grandchildren...then after a cataclysmic separation from my husband of 36 years, it has now shifted my world to where it should have been all those husband.....not only does he make my life worth living, but makes living here tolerable....nay, more bearable. You see, being born a melancholic person there are days when there is simply nothing here that seems to make it tolerable to stay on this side of that dark curtain. The perceived or real pain makes this side of life very unbearable to the mind...and to the heart at times. So, at times there simply seems like there is nothing that would make this life worth living for. Upon second glance, and I do have to take many more of those than most people, there are things that indeed make my life in need of living....thank you Rick, for staying with me, for walking beside me, for holding my hand and my head during those times when to my way of thinking it is not worth it.....

Monday, December 06, 2010

Please dear God

I hope I NEVER have to see my children or grand childrens death....I wanna go first....I hope I don't have to see my husband die either! Not that death scares a matter of fact, the sooner the better as far as I am concerned, but having my heart broken here on earth is a worse death than any physical death I can think of! This old ticker of mine is a little hypersensitive and the mental and emotional anguishes are SOOOOOOOO much more least this has been my own experience. There you have it. I am a mental and emotional baby. I admit it. And so be it amen.

Saturday, December 04, 2010


Something I hope to do in my life.....well, there are too many things to even begin to think! I want to be the best grandma EVER, I want to have the best marriage EVER....I want to draw pictures without second guessing myself....I want to have self confidence....I want to see, hear, touch and smell EVERYTHING that comes my way....I want to live long enough to do these things, but not too long so as to be a burden...I want to help people like others have helped me....I want to visit Malta, Italy, Sicily, Spain, England and Iceland....Is this too much?!!! I have lived over half of my alotted time here on this earth, and have wasted way the heck too much of it! I want to live every day to its very fullest and enjoy every minute. I want to learn so much! And there is so much I wish I had learned at a younger would have made these latter years more palatable. Live and learn....Carpe Dieum....Here and Now.